Yesterday I attended FutureFest16 sponsored by Nesta. An overwhelming experience to say the least. I had crazed dreams last night about the future. One of the aspects of the fest I participated in was called 'Coming Out'. As technology's influence on our romantic relationships grow and gender identifies shift, we are facing a new world. 'Coming Out' is an interactive installation which invites a person to experience a site-specific audio journey through Tobacco Dock, exploring provocative, challenging and personal stories.
So, equipped with mobile phone and headphones, I engaged in the stories of three potential dates and picked the one I wanted to go on a virtual date with. In my head, I already understood that technology is transforming the modern dating world, with matchmaking websites allowing people to scope out potential partners before they meet, and apps like Tinder and Happn pairing people based on location. But how will technological intervention play out in our love lives in the future, I wondered as I stepped out into the light and onto my virtual date.
According to a report commissioned by relationship site eHarmony and compiled by MSc Management studies at Imperial College Business School, full sensory and behaviour-based matching will be among the key feasture of dating in the year 2040. Cindy Gallop, advertising expert extraordinaire and founder of the MakeLoveNotPorn and IfWeRanTheWorld companies, also alluded yesterday to these developments saving singles time and energy, delivering more accurate matches and even provide insight and read-time assistance. The report I speak about above, by the way, is based on the analysis of more than 100 years of trend data and interviews with leading experts across the fields of anthropology, sociology, technology and biomedicine.
My virtual date walked alongside me from his own home, taking me to one of this most favourite places in Tobacco Dock. I stood under the clock as he told me why this place inspires him. It made me smile. But I didn't have a chance to respond, to tell him what I liked about being stood under the clock and seeing the view of the courtyard. I thought to myself at that stage that people will always want to be matched and ultimately form relationships with like-minded people in the most efficient way possible. This is certainly a different way of going about it. e-Harmony estimates that in 2040, 70% of couples will get together online. Staggering. But will this mean because of the accuracy of partnering based on deep behavioural learnings that relationships stand a better chance of survival?
My date then took me to the bar and asked me to give a code sentence to the bartender while I ordered my coffee. I said 'The future is yet to the written'. The bartender gave me a wink and offered me a bucket full of lollypops. I gasped in surprise and glee, wanting to thank my virtual date. However, I found it extremely frustrating that I wasn't able to speak to him directly. My emotions sank. Reports say that in just 25 years, the full dating sensory experience will be available. You could hold somebody's hand and even smell their fragrance, but all from the comfort of your own home. Not sure I like that idea tbh. Gives a whole new meaning to a 'long distance' relationship.
I still don't know what my virtual date looked like, even though by this time I knew a little bit more about him, what he was like, a bit of his history, what he disliked, what had hurt him in the past. Biologically, they say humans are programmed to find people attractive who would be a good genetic match in order to produce the strongest possible offspring, meaning that by studying DNA we may be able to unlock the rules of attraction. Seriously though, I just need someone to be funny and to make me laugh. PING. Instant attraction. I liked this person but without using all my senses, being there in person, would I know if he is actually attractive to me? DNA research would be far too pricey for this social experiment.
I found my concentration dwindling as I again began to think about where I was, where I wanted to be and what I still wanted to see at FutureFest16. There was no way to Pause the virtual date so he just kept on rambling on in my head. There was no way to communicate with him that although it was fascinating walking around him chatting to me, I wanted to do something now that I wanted to do. So I pulled off my headphones and headed for the Imagine Room to listen to a new session. I actually felt bad.
I thought this virtual dating stuff was supposed to track people's behaviour and how they react to different situations. This technology obviously didn't demonstrate 'hyper-connectivity' including changing the mode, pace, reflection based on my reaction to want to switch my virtual date 'off' for the a while. However, I can imagine that in future, the 'internet of things' together with the prominence of wearing technology could transform how people meet and build relationships.
For example, I understand that smart contact lenses could track the type of people you look at most frequently when your body produces the signs of attraction (measured by hormone levels, pheromone production etc). On a deeper level, this technology could identify your core character traits based on physical, chemical and neural signs, such as how you react to conflict or in social situations and find complimentary matches.
A way to go then for me and my virtual date. There's something scary for me in how artificial intelligence could enhance the date experience, allow for deeper learning by processing highly complex data from multiple sources and therefore, at the speed of light dramatically improve your decision making processes. Frightening to think that love and relationships can be created or removed in a split second based on this premise. Do we want to give up our own sense of exploration both in ourselves and others by allowing AI to do this for us. Isn't, love, lust, pain, disappointment and growth in relationships all part of what makes us human?
My virtual date ended and I was somehow relieved. I did manage to get a lollypop out of the deal though which was nice. I felt the need to ask questions which I couldn't do, I felt the need to look into his face, into his eyes, to see his body language to understand whether he was sincere, genuine...there. When all is said and done I think you can only go so far in relationship building without that human interaction, eye to eye, face to face. Through virtual dating, we creating love, one of the most universal of all human needs, through deceptive attachments? Can they ever be truly fulfilling?
I guess I left the date feeling empty, holding in my hands a group of 'synthetic emotions'. It was like going on a date with a robot. I was left questioning whether AI like 'lovebots' with intelligent skin, cyborgs with sensory implants, tele-dildonic connected avatars, empathetic person carers loving you day and night can mean a person can generate feelings and emotions towards a robot, or whether a genuine and sincere human response is the only way to find true fulfillment in our realities as they currently exist (true fulfillment outside of a deity which is a debate we won't go into here).
I have a feeling that these technological developments will probably leave us feeling more empty and disappointed than ever before. As our humaness becomes more isolated, we become more skin-hungry. We continue to fulfill this with readily available content, gratifying us only momentarily, rather than deciding to get real with other humans, with all the beautiful and ugly emotional states that this brings with it.
