Young people are becoming ‘skin hungry’ because networking online
leaves them feeling as lonely as the elderly, a study has found (report
from the Daily Mail and UK Marriage News). Despite having an average of
243 Facebook friends, teenagers are spending so much time on the
internet that they have little time to go out with friends. Sixty per
cent said they found it difficult to make friends ‘in real life’
compared with online and a similar number (69 per cent) said they
believe that Britain is an unfriendly place to live.
Instead of breaking down society’s barriers, technology has made us
more isolated and it is affecting young people, relationship expert
Julie Peasgood believes. She said: ‘You can’t hug a Facebook friend.
Touch calms us, heals us and allows us to connect with other people. It
is the only basic sense considered to be essential for human life and
“skin hunger” is now recognised as being the adult version of the
“failure to thrive” syndrome seen in Second World War babies in
orphanages.’
The study, commissioned by Yours magazine, involved people aged from
18 to 80 and found it found that more than a third of people spend more
time chatting online than going out with friends. It’s not all grim
reading, however, as half say they want to combat the problem and would
do so by joining or starting a local friendship club.
At the other end of the age spectrum, 92 per cent of the over-50s
said they believed that Britain used to be more friendly. Sixty per cent
said the main reason they find it hard to make friends is that using
technology to communicate is much easier but a similar proportion said
they simply want someone with whom they can have a coffee and chat.
Overall, two-thirds said they ‘feel lonely’ and need more face-to-face
friends to mix with to make life really worth living.
The average 50-year-old now spends half the week on their own – 84
hours – rising to four days 60 year-olds, four and a half days for 70
year-old and five days for the over 80s. Three out of four over-50s
questioned also lament the loss of children playing safely outside which
meant families and locals mixed more.
Two in three think people used to have more respect for others and
seemed more honest and trustworthy which meant people were less
suspicious of each other. Six in ten think because fewer women worked,
they had more time for each other. Furthermore than half of the over 50s
think Britain used to be friendlier because there was less crime, fewer
marriage break-ups and extended family lived close by.
Actress Lynda Bellingham, 63, admits she’s been desperately lonely
for long periods of her life and says: ‘True friendship builds when you
have mutual activities. It is shared experiences that make long term
friends – you’re not going to have shared experiences plugged into a
computer. As human beings we need to mix.’
Yours editor Valery McConnell said she believed it was an indictment
of British society: ‘Eighteen year-olds are as lonely as 80 year-olds
and they want a friendship service because they can no longer make
friends in the traditional ways.’ She added: ‘Without realising it, our
society no longer provides one of the basic functions that keeps it
working. The everyday contact, courtesies and kindnesses which turn into
friendship and knit us together have been allowed to disappear in
favour of efficiency. ‘Modern society doesn’t encourage us to speak to
each other face to face and as a result, loneliness levels are soaring
to crisis point and set to get even worse. Personal service in banks and
shops is practically a thing of the past… even the listening ear of the
supermarket checkout person is being replaced by a do-it-yourself
machine. Technology is forcing people to live in their own little
isolated bubbles. The young, hunched over the virtual world of their
computers are often as lonely as the older generation sat in front of
their TVs, if not more so. Never before have people had so little human
contact. The “Friends” generation depicted by the TV series is a
fallacy.’
Evenings and weekends can be particularly bleak. Three-quarters of
over-50s say their main source of company in the evening is the TV – 86
per cent of those who live alone – followed by the phone (28 per cent).
Even half of young people say their main source of company in the
evenings is their TV rather than going out and having fun with friends.
Interesting…
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